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Writer's pictureProfessor Medley

Emotional Intelligence and Jiu Jitsu Principles

Updated: May 17

Although jiu jitsu techniques have the potential to be the most dangerous and destructive moves in all of the martial arts, the philosophical essence of jiu jitsu, paradoxically, is softness. "Softness" not necessarily describing the end-result on the opponent, but rather the amount of effort required to end a fight. If a combatant finds self-defense physically exhausting, or the moves they use in a fight require extraordinary athletic ability, they are not using jiu jitsu. The philosophy of jiu jitsu teaches the student to avoid directly clashing with opposing force.


The principles of jiu jitsu can be applied before opposing physical force ever begins.


A great example of this jiu jitsu principle was displayed by Bruce Lee's character in Enter the Dragon (1973). In an early scene in the movie, Lee's character is on a boat with several other fighters traveling to Han's island. While traveling on the boat, a fighter from New Zealand named Parsons corners Lee on the boat, asks him about his fighting style, and challenges him to a fight. Lee tells Parsons, "You can call it the art of fighting without fighting." Lee suggests to Parsons that they can fight on a nearby island. Lee invites Parsons to get onto a small skiff, suggesting they will go to the island together to fight. After Parsons gets onto the skiff, Lee unties the skiff the larger boat and releases Parsons to be towed the rest of the journey while isolated on the skiff. By physically isolating Parsons a safe distance away, Lee did not have to fight him. (This tactic mirrors a story from the life of a 16th century Japanese swordsman, Tsukahara Bokuden.)


Most violence has some motivation in the mind of the person initiating the aggression. This motivation is commonly some perceived anger or hate. Another manner in which jiu jitsu principles can be applied to win a fight without fighting is to diffuse the would-be assailant's motivation to attack us though our actions and words.


A de-escalation strategy called Verbal Judo has been around for over 40 years that addresses a degree of verbal conflict management skills- particularly in the context of police work. The techniques of Verbal Judo were an innovative start to verbal de-escalation, and touched on the fringes of what we now understand as emotional intelligence.


Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a conceptual metric of a person's aptitude to recognize and respond to emotions. Not only the emotions of others, but to recognize and manage their own emotions. Once an emotion is recognized, a person with an effective EI, can acknowledge that emotion and consider responding with empathy, rather than reacting to the emotion with more violence provoking emotion.


For example, in a self-defense context an angry driver may stomp up to us in a parking lot with his fists clenched, yelling, "You cut me off and stole my parking spot!?" If we just respond with our knee-jerk emotions we may react with, "I don't see your name on this parking spot." or even worse, "You think you're big enough to do anything about it?!" These taunting reactions do not come from our higher thinking mind, and they certainly do not serve our overall objective of avoiding violent confrontations. If we are performing as emotionally intelligent individuals in the above scenario, we quickly recognize that the person with the clenched fists is angry. An emotionally intelligent response may sound more like, "Sir, I can see you are upset. I want to hear you out, but I need you to not come any closer. I didn't see you. I apologize. I can move my car; it will only take a second." As you can see, the emotionally aware response leaves open the possibility that no one gets hurt. The first reactions dripped with sarcasm and ego, and virtually guaranteed violence was going to happen.


The softness that is jiu jitsu can begin and end with simple words. Never getting attacked is the most energy efficient way to survive an attack. Resorting to emotionally intelligent communication can be our first line of defense to staying safe using the principles of jiu jitsu in our choice of words and tone. We win the fight without fighting, just like Bruce Lee.


Of course not every confrontation begins with words, and empathy is not going to resolve every dispute that does start with words. In order for a jiu jitsu practitioner to be confident enough to resort to intelligent communication, we have to be able to back it up. Therefore, the more confident we are with our technique, the better chance we have of having the confidence to speak assertively, but with empathy, to someone who is trying to start a fight with us.


Another advantage to responding to verbal aggression with empathy is optics. In situations where there are other witnesses or video, it helps to make some effort to avoid the fight. If you end up using a jiu jitsu technique that injures the aggressor, it makes the issue of self-defense much more clear if you are seen investing some initiative to avoid violence.


I will address much more technical and biological mechanisms of Emotional Intelligence and fight psychology in future blogs.


At Lakewood Jiu Jitsu Academy, verbal jiu jitsu is encouraged and practiced. We believe a perfect fight is one that never happens. Aggression that can be de-escalated should be, but resisting our own ego and recognizing our own emotions takes mental preparation and practice.















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